Life These Days-
It has been about six months since I moved from Utah to Arizona. Moving so far from everything and everyone I know still seems unreal. I miss being able to spend time with family and with friends. The house hasn't been perfect by any means, but it has been perfect for us. We only know a handful of neighbors, but we haven't met anyone we don't honestly and truly like. Our dogs mess up the house far more than we expected they would be able to, but it's worth it to have two cute little pups to keep us company. The yard hasn't been finished yet, but hey, neither has the inside. Slowly the projects are getting done, and the house becomes in reality what we saw in our minds the first time we walked through.
The strangest thing about moving to Arizona was feeling that Amanda and I belonged here all along. I still haven't felt an awkward phase. Early on Amanda and I decided that living in Arizona feels like a vacation. We keep expecting it to end, but it just keeps going. No snow in the winter months? Sign me up for four more years, sir. Really really really hot summers? I'm a big fan. Cacti and palm trees and desert flowers? Yes, please. And it is just icing on the cake that our monthly house payment is just barely above what we were paying for rent. My mission president used to say "for a penny more, you can go first class". President, I agreed with you then and I agree with you now.
I'm doing the same work I did in Utah, except instead of having to wake up, get dressed and drive to work, I roll out of bed and walk ten steps to my desk. Working from home I actually feel more productive than at the office, and in more ways than one. I don't have any distractions, everything I need is close by, I'm able to eat what I want when I want without having to drive anywhere to get it... it has been great. Not only am I able to help provide for our little family, I'm able to take care of the nitty gritty to help Amanda on her way through grad school. With Amanda working so hard, it's nice for me to have the time to take care of things around the house. I do have to find the willpower to continue taking care of projects around the house.
Overall I'm starting to feel old. I look in the mirror and I still see the same kid I did when I was sixteen, but I have come to grips with the grey hairs, the wrinkles, and the little gut forming on my waistline. I've been working to get rid of that gut, and honestly I'm probably in better shape than I have been in years, but the fact that I have to work at it makes me feel old. I don't mind the grey hairs, in fact I think it's somewhat fun. When I see the gray hairs it makes me feel like I'm pretending to be older than I actually am. When the neighbor kids come over (oh, and they come over to see the dogs, not me), they all call me Brother Clayton or Mister Clayton. Suddenly I'm too old for kids to call me Dan, or Danny, or Daniel. I don't think I like being called Brother/Mister Clayton, but I feel that trying to make the kids change their ways would make me seem more old than less.
Amanda and I were called to teach the 4-year-olds at church. It is so much fun being able to teach these kids, to watch as they learn and play and act out and be kids. There have been moments where I felt overwhelmed, but having Amanda there with me makes all the difference in the world. The kids are adorable, and it warms my heart to see them learning about their Saviour. The biggest blessing for me has been to be able to relearn the gospel through the eyes of a 4-year-old. When you get down to it, the world really is just as simple as it was when you were 4... it is you that started fretting over the monkey business.
I have fallen in love with my wife again. I never fell out of love with Amanda, but I feel like I've gotten to know more about her and to appreciate more about her than I did before. I have watched Amanda work and strive more than I've ever seen her in the past as she works toward her doctorate. Yet even though Amanda is so busy, I feel that we've become less "me and you" and more "us" since coming to Arizona. It is nice to have a partner in life who is not afraid to criticize or remind me where I have need of improvement, yet does so without being critical or harsh. I can't think of a single fight we've had. (I'm not just talking Arizona, I'm talking since we got married). A lot of people told me to be careful when the honeymoon phase ended because that's when the real problems begin. Honestly, I'm not sure if we're still in the honeymoon phase, or if we transitioned out of it so smoothly as to not even notice we had left it.
I have tried toning down my political rantings. I still feel the same way about the world politically as I have in the past, but I've realized that not everyone wants to hear it. To quote Ayn Rand, "It is not advisable... to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener." Since I'm on the topic of politics, and I'm not forcing anyone to read this, I believe that debt is the biggest problem this nation faces. The country is out of money. I get discouraged when simple mathematics become a debate between the left and the right. We should all be honest enough with ourselves to say that the United States needs to stop spending money. As far as politics go, I still share little tidbits on Facebook and with others here and there, but mostly I'm trying not to step on people's toes.
On that same note, one simple truth has been repeatedly thrust to the forefront of my mind lately: you cannot change others, you can only change yourself. While I may not be seeking to fundamentally change myself, I have [in my old age] seen the necessity for constant self improvement. I'm thankful for friends and family all around who give me examples of how I can improve physically, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, in matters of etiquette and propriety, and in so many other ways. It is through diligent and continued self improvement that one is able to continually improve one's lot in life, regardless of the condition of the world around oneself. The motto of my youth, life is only as good as you make it, is still true for me today, though I've changed the way I interpret it along the way.
God has blessed me, and life is good.
