happy pants

we went shopping last night... after years and years of searching, dan finally found his pants.

good morning!

i woke up this morning to weird noises in the other room. i went to check it out - dan was doing push ups.

made me super happy :)

blaue boon for ogen boon?

"come on babe! i helped you out earlier in the game! repay the favor!!"

"no! i'm going to make you eat that ogen boon. hahaha."

"baaaabe! come on!! this is spiteful!"

"no, this is me being smart!"

yes, babe, you are smart. i'm glad you're not afraid to win. i'm glad you're smart enough to win. i love you.

welp.

i didn't get into csu :(
and i still haven't heard from iowa - i'm taking this to mean they don't want me either.
oh well!

the plan:
keep working and re-apply for next year.

the end.

what? dan knows how to blog?

how do you write 100 different thoughts all at the same time? you don't.

instead of trying to write 100 different thoughts, i will try to focus on one thought that has come up multiple times over the past week. if i had to categorize this thought, i would say it's settling on what is best instead of what is wanted.

already i am thinking in a million different directions.

in our ward, amanda and i both received different callings to help out with the work of the church. amanda, in my opinion, received a somewhat lax and laid-back calling. i was called to teach sunday school to 20 - 30 people age 24 to 80 (with the majority of those people being 50 to 80). my initial reaction is to shy away from this calling. it's hard for me to pretend to know more than anyone else in the class. having a nagging cough, it's hard for me want to teach and speak for 40 minutes straight. and even though i haven't yet convinced myself, each time i pray to God to explain the situation to Him, i receive the definite impression that this is what's best for me. what do i have to gain from sitting in the back of a classroom listening to another? what do i have to gain from standing in front of the classroom trying to know exactly what to say to help the people in my class? of course, i put myself in a much better position to learn and grow if i am actively teaching rather than trying to absorb from others.

this concept has been applying itself to almost every area of life that i look at.

in politics it's unpopular to tell people who are struggling, no matter what their struggle, to fight for themselves and grow for themselves and overcome their own trials. instead, the popular route in politics is to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE. how does that help anyone? what happens when the money is gone? this popular route of giving money away to struggling people or institutions is akin to giving blood to a man with a severe laceration without ever mending the wound. sure, the blood is helpful in the short term, but once the blood runs out the man is no better off than if he had received no blood.

we find many VERY intriguing examples of this from nature. the oft recited parable of the chick comes first to mind. did you know that if you help a chick out of it's shell you are ENSURING it's premature death? the work the chick goes through coming out of the shell actually gives it the strength to make it through life. did you know there are some mammals that eat their young in certain situations? in these rare situations, if the parent was to try to raise the young the parent would die, ensuring death for the young as well. it's horrible to think of human implications, but i hope you see what i'm getting at: sometimes doing what you want and doing what is best are on completely opposite sides of the spectrum.

life should be full of passion, but not lived solely by passion.

ps- i'd rather be playing games than sitting at work. but, blog over and back to work :D

this blog is turning into my diary.

i just called colorado state - turns out they haven't even made final decisions yet!
*big relief*
i just hope they make up their minds soon. it's kind of a big deal.

also, i did my FIRST POSTER EVER!!!!!
april 3, 2009
Bioscience Symposium for Undergraduate Research



i am very proud of it.
me and dan were thinking we should make a coffee table out of it.
so nerdy!

boo.

boo boo boo.
i STILL haven't heard anything yet.
this most likely means i'm not getting into either school.
boo.

dan's been really good to me though. i've been super stressed about this and i'll randomly start crying everywhere... it's pretty embarassing.
but he'll assure me that everything will be fine, he still loves me, blah blah etc.
i love him.

on to happier news:
because of all the stress and anxiety, i went SHOPPING!!!!
$100.27 = 3 dresses, 2 skirts, 4 tops, 1 shoes
very good.

we went to tucanos on saturday between conference sessions. it was soooo goood.
everyone got disgustingly full. me and dan were contemplating vomiting to make more room for the excellent food. we did not.
on sunday we had even more food at dan's grandma's and then at my parents'.

pretty sure i gained 5 pounds over the weekend.
which is actually sad news.

more happy news:
i'm going to red butte gardens in 10 mins to catch bugs.
um,
ya.